recently the weather is really nice.. too nice that i couldn't wake up for morning lesson earlier than 12.. lol... i've been missing a lot of morning lesson this week already...
today as usual, study in lib. hardcore time now... then actually when i just put down my bag and took out my books, i got a text... to buy waffle. immediately i packed by stuff and walk back to soc where i came from... lol... but it turned out not so good as i expected.. lol... may b this is the trigger that made you wanted to talk with me for the problem that we r facing ba...
then after soaking in bio lecture slides and text book for 3 hours, we went to gym. today something that i can't explained happened. i faint.. to b exact, i lost conscious for < 1 seconds. i fell down from treadmill.. i was running, but i am sure i am not exhausted the seconds before i fell because i've been slowed down the pace to walk about 1 min plus before i start to run again.. i just can't explain...
today another miracle happened. you talk to me about the issue that i fond of you. i am surprise that you raise the topic. coz you always avoid it and treat like nothing had happened. i never thought you will willing to talk it with me openly. i am really happy about it and i really appreciate it. i always wanted to talk to you... i wan to know how you feel about it and i really wan to figure out am i really love you... suning kept telling me this is just the illusion that i create for myself after i let my past go.. is like a substitute image that keep my mind in one piece without falling apart. i am confused actually... i know the feeling is real, but it is not the same level as how i feel for yingsze. i am not comparing. is just that... the degree of love is different... may b really as what you said, love for friend? but it is kinda beyond friends... i dunno... may b i am wrong.. i still need some time to figure it out and realise the reality... for now i should stop hypnotise myself and behave a bit... you think i had went too far when i haven't do anything yet... i should slow down myself abit.. may b dun care so much about you anymore.. i will try~ if i can let you go, i would already did it in a year ago... it's not easy when this feeling had rooted for so long....
anyway, i am happy that you willing to be someone that i can rely on.. at least my mind is at ease now... but i dunno when will that day be.. hopefully it would not be the day that i lost you again.. i feel relief after talking to you. thanks a lot.
其实我现在不知道该怎么办。。乱了方向。。总之现在走一步看一步吧。。。
我想说。。你跟璎持不一样。她带给我宁静。好像世界再乱，有她在，我就很稳妥，不用担心。跟你在一起就很快乐。虽然压力还是一样大，但是暂时的快乐可以让我忘了我其实很压力。而跟你在一起时的快乐，是我坚持下去的动力。每天都在期待见到你。所以期待明天的到来。。
