i knew it... i know myself too well....

now my hand is super tired and pain... because i played game. tonight i suppose to study hard for test tmr, but end up i having fever and play games until now.... i think i did study a bit... but i think it does not goes into my brain... very hard to say that i remember anything, but.... i think i sure cui tmr... coz i havent started to write the ONGD report... as well as the elearning stuff..... WTH i am doing????? i dun know what i suppose to do next... i think my determination fail me.... may b i should stay away from Jet lim, coz he giving me too much pressure that i dunno what to do.... emergent event???

haiz.... i dun even know what m i thinking... i always make decision that will make me regret... whatever....

actually... i want to write on yesterday stuff, but i think... nvm.... better dun write... later i regret again.... just let it be....

kinda is really busy and tired... especially today... coz of 2 days early report to tp rawks, i m really exhausted. so, today i din go for tp rawks... coz i got fever and flu... T-T

by 7 i wake up n prepared for tp rawks, but by 8 i sent sms to my leader that i dun want to go le, then i go back to sleep until 2pm only wake up... finally got a little bit of energy to move. today is my relaxing day. i dun plan to do any homework / sch work today. just give myself a break after chiong so many day for ONGD... FxxK!!! i hate ONGD because of jet lim. because he is those kind of ppl will compare the outcome of everybody and grade the best. i dun really like him sia... i noe i m not the best, but i wun be the worst.. but then, this time round, i really felt so helpless abt it... coz zy's work definitely is the best among all... nick n jon really change a lot sia... they really put in a lot of effort this sem. i think they will b the best team this sem. a little bit of disappointed.. haiz... but i think i had did my best. so i wun pressure myself much for this.

YA~~~ I went to EXPO just now. this is the first time i went to expo since the first day of staying at sg. well, there are quite a lot of exhibitions... got sport one, food fair, watson fair, bridal photos fair, and mom n tot de.. my main target is the food fair la.. so v go in and eat tester... hahahahha~~~~ but not much leh... may b both of us looks quite young, so they dun give us try... but i ate all brand of bak gua~~~ LOL... v stand there and stare at the aunty, so she give us the bak gua. i wearing color lens today, so i think i look like vampire^^, the food there is not cheap actually, is almost the same price as usual one, just that here got more variety. i think the next food fair i will go again~ coz i love eating!!! LOL...

i think i m the dumbest one in the class o the cohort.. i never thought i m the smart one in my life. coz i need more time than normal ppl to understand a simple thing. so i think i m the person who would never comment other ppl is stupid. coz i dun fit to say that. if i m smart one, i wun be so struggle and forbid myself for playing games... haiz... i love playing games!!! just that i dun have the self control to stop myself from playing.... the comming 4 weeks, i will stay in sch as long as i can... hope i can catch up in gmaps soon... if not i sure die...

my holiday isn't a holiday... i been working on unity since last night after jap lesson... n my lappy din rest since tat either.. tmr i got tp rawks. but a lot of ppl told me tat, tp sux... is like v going to con ppl tmr.. it is so... great.. AI teach us cheating is good, n TP rawks ask us to 'persuade' ppl come tp. i m tired indeed.. coz unity crashes whole night... i dunno what else i need to do for the script.. coz it had too much to do... seriously, i hate ongd. it make me look so dumb. n i did the GET junior survey. i wrote NONE for the subject u most confident in. i dun like this sem...

i want to go food fair at expo!!! i want to watch harry potter!!!! if i got 48 hours per day, i can do everything!!!

life is so pain... today i m very tired.. i hate working so much...
do u know how tired is working as sushi tei @ vivo? it make me exhausted and cant concentrate on the next day... i dun wan to work anymore!!!

great... i just reformat my lovely N900, n all my message n bookmarks are gone... it is good in some way also... i no need to view some blogs as i dun have the address anymore, n bad because i forgot to note down several inportant msg in my lovely N900... T-T nvm... is over... so i just accept it... as least my N900 is working fine now, i m happy le..

today is quite enjoyable day for me.. coz i think i get enlightment?? by Suzuki sensei. today i have lunch with Suzuki Sensei at Sushi Tei. actually plan to have lunch with her last tues, but she not feeling well so postpone. v chat about studies and further studies... off coure, she speak a lot of jap to me, and i can only understand what she said, but cant reply in jap... coz i really dunno how to reply.. = =" my vocab is too limited... "either smart or not that smart, as long as both can achieve the same destination, although u take longer time than the other, it is successful." i like this very much!! just accept the fact that i m not born with talent in certain stuff, coz i might b talented in other stuff also. and i know i had put in my best, i shouldn't have any regret or not satisfied feeling. she is a Bachelor in English Literature. may b mastor?? she took english literature as Uni's major. i was like... WOW!!!! n she been to USA when she was 18. I think she enjoy english very much.. n she like language.. she shown me a good example in studies. although v r slow learner, but v have strong foundation from repeating practice and revision... i really very appreciate today's lunch time... i shall polish my jap harder to prepare for the next lunch after this sem end. by that time, i should b able to chat with her in basic jap... she look quite bored coz she need to speak a lot of eng to me..

turbo engine start 2 days le... my back is aching... n i lost my creative ear-pieces.... damn sad la!!!!

everyone have their own secret that does not want to share with others.

i m just a normal human being. what is so special about me that i must share each and every one of my info with everyone? cant i have some privacy also? i hate this!!

my life remain the same with or without friends. isn't the same with urs? or u cant live without me? i dun think i m so important to anyone yet.. n i dun really have good friends in sg.i still survive until now. i dun see the problem behind this. this is how i treat my friends. like o dun like is depends on u. i wun force ppl in any way. i m very demanding to myself, but not others. this will be the last time i declare this. i m not part of the family. ever since 2.1, i already said i m out from this game. so dun demand me to behave o think like u do. i dun think like u think.

soon i will b in battle mode. i have no time to think about friendship prob. finance already make my brain die half, i got no extra brain power to waste on useless matter. if u dun like my "freedom to speak" u may delete ur cookie or bookmark or ask me to expel u from this blog. i wun beg u to read my blog anyway.

time to rest.. reformat my n900 soon... = ="

well... this is a bad time for me... i think this is the second time in my life that i regret to make friends... because even friendship is also a stress to me.. how come???

the first time is sync... i regret because i give her too much pressure until she hate me so much that v din contact for 1 year... until now, v still cant chat properly with each other... i regret that i cross the boundary... but i never regret that i know her.

this time... i felt like to say "vulgar"... now i m the one to b blame... nobody's fault. is just my fault. i m sick of entertaining u ok? is this reason good enuf? i have no comment in anything.

now i not only shut the door. i shut the gate as well. plus lock summore. u happy??

wow... this is a horrible week... i din even rest well for one night since monday... is full with celebration schedule... omg.... why 21 so big deal?? is just like a normal birthday to me, but it means a lot of things to other ppl... so now, i m very very very tired....

i noe u tried to keep a distance from me.. obviously.. from ur msg, i can sense ur fear... i understand myself also.. if u give me one more msg, every effort v did in the past one year will b wasted... really.. just one more msg, i m very sure that i will break down... coz u r too "attractive" to me... may b i shouldn't use this word.. haha.. anyway... thx a lot for replying my msg.. although i really worry about u, but i cant do anything for u also..

last... happy birthday to myself.. thx all ppl who celebrate my birthday with me!

i thought i made myself very clear that this is not a relation problem. this is the trust matter. dun tell me u dunno u had fail me. i dun c the sadness in u at all. coz u doesn't appreciate me anymore.. i dun c the reason i staying back there. v r not clique, but v r friends, not stranger. anyway, if u dun talk to me, i wun talk to u. this is my policy.